Ang Dalawang Mrs. Reyes is the latest offering of Star Cinema, Quantum Films, and IdeaFirst Company. It is a comedy directed by Jun Robles Lana and stars Judy Ann Santos and Angelica Panganiban as Lianne Reyes and Cindy Reyes, respectively, the two Mrs. Reyeses whose husbands have an affair with each other. The movie follows the women as they try to break-up their husbands’ relationship.

For other hugot lines, please read I Love You, Hater – Hugot Edition, Sid & Aya (Not A Love Story) – Hugot Edition, Kasal – Hugot Edition, Never Not Love You – Hugot Edition, My Perfect You – Hugot Edition, Meet Me In St. Gallen – Hugot Edition, Mr. & Mrs. Cruz – Hugot Edition, Unexpectedly Yours – Hugot Editon, Kita Kita (I See You) – Hugot Edition, Last Night – Hugot Edition, Finally Found Someone – Hugot Edition,  Can We Still Be Friends? – Hugot Edition, Can’t Help Falling In Love – Hugot Edition, My Ex and Whys – Hugot Edition, and Heneral Luna – Hugot Edition.

Here are some of the Hugot Lines from Ang Dalawang Mrs. Reyes:

“Wow, nag-hire ka ng private investigator para imbestigahan ang asawa ko?” – Lianne Reyes (Judy Ann Santos)

“Lintek na mga dede ‘yan! Salot sa among mga kababaihan!”– Lianne’s friend (Gladys Reyes)

“Wala ng mas malaki pa rito?” – Lianne while looking at the breast implants

“Meron, sa palengke. Pakwan.” – Lianne’s colleague (Wilma Doesnt)

Three things that will make one’s man happy according to Cindy Reyes’ (Angelica Panganiban) mother-in-law: 1) kailangan mo siyang busugin sa masasarap na pagkain, 2) pag-aaruga, at 3) ang pinakaimportante sa lahat, dapat busog na busog siya sa kama.

“Ngayon ako ang pussy mo. Ikaw naman si Felix. Felix the cat.” – Cindy Reye (Angelica Panganiban)

“Putang ina. Sikip! ‘Di ako makahinga.” – Cindy

“Walang nangyari? Nasira pa ang costume?” – Cindy’s mother-in-law (Carmi Martin)

“Enjoy your new boobs! Do not procreate. Do not get them wet. Do not raise your arms above your shoulders.” – Wilma Doesnt

“It’s called twinning. It should be fun.” – Carmi Martin

“Diyos ko po!” – Gary Reyes (Joross Gamboa)

“Dios ko po? Talaga? Sa lahat ng ito, “Diyos ko po” ang reaksyon mo?” – Lianne

“They’re bigger and better and stronger than ever before. Nagpasuso ako para lang sa iyo.” – Lianne

“Si Geng-geng at si Neng-neng. Ang twins natin.” – Lianne referring to her new boobs

“Hon, I think this is the best time to tell you. Kami ni Tonette, we’re just friends. Naging confidante ko na siya. Hon, bakla ako. May ka-affair ako.” – Gary to Lianne while the latter was under medication

“Gusto kitang sampalin. Gusto kitang saktan. Gusto kong sumigaw.” – Lianne

“Gary, halika rito. Papatayin kita.” – Lianne

“Iuwi mo na lang siya kung diretso na ang dila niya.” – Gary to Macey (Andrea Brillantes)

“Paano ang gusto mo? Minsan sinasabi nating okay tapos masasakal ka na. Balang-araw mapupuno ka na lang at ayaw mo na pala.” – Felix Reyes (JC de Vera)

“Bakit ang bait-bait mo sa akin, Babe?” – Felix

“Kasi ang suwerte suwerte ko sa ‘yo.” – Cindy

“Wala na siya. Iniwan ka na niya.” – Wilma Doesnt

“Ano ‘to nobela?” – Cindy upon seeing Felix’s several pages goodbye letter

“Ano???” – Cindy after reading the novel-long goodbye letter

“Andami mong sinabi. Kinuwento mo pa buhay mo. Iiwan mo lang pala ako! Putang ina!” – Cindy

“Yumakap ka kaya. Friendship moment ‘to.” – Cai Cortez

“Group hug!” – Gladys Reyes

“”But the most loving thing for me to do is to leave you and set you free. I’m sorry.” Tae mo!” – Cindy

“Kahit ang galing mong mag-Ingles, gago ka pa rin!” – Cindy

“Hindi naman isyu kung lalaki ang nagloko.” – Lianne

“You are having an affair with your job.” – Gladys Reyes

“Kung pinahalagahan mo si Gary baka hindi ka niya iniwan para sa isang bakla.” – Gladys Reyes

“Ito talaga iniwan niya? Baklang ‘yun!” – Cindy upon seeing her and Felix’s couple photo

 

Lianne: Excuse me, do I know you?

Cindy: Ako si Mrs. Reyes. Ako ang asawa ng inaasawa ng asawa mo. Pero pwede mo akong tawaging Cindy.

Lianne: What makes you think na asawa ko ang umaasawa sa asawa mo? Hindi ba puwedeng asawa mo ang umasawa sa asawa ko?

Cindy: mindblown

 

“Alam ko in theory, but iba ang reality. Kay hirap pa rin tanggapin.” – Lianne

“Hanggang wala tayong go signal walang liligaya.” – Cindy

Malungkot tayo tapos sila masaya? Ay, hindi puwede ‘yun! Walang liligaya!” – Cindy

“Wow, totoo ba ‘yan?” – Lianne referring to Cindy’s breasts

“Hinabol mo ako para tanungin kung totoo ang dede ko?” – Cindy

“Surprise! Kami ang sagot sa mga panalangin ninyo.” Lianne to Gary and Felix

“Dito talaga? Wala na bang ibang lugar? Ma Mon Luk talaga?” – Lianne

“Nahihiya pa kayo sa lagay na ‘yan? Parehas pa kayo ng t-shirt. Tawag diyan twinning. Parang gusto ninyong ipangalandakan sa buong mundo ang relasyon ninyo.” – Cindy to Gary and Felix

“Pinakasalan mo ba ako dahil convenient?” – Cindy

“Gago ka! Gago ka lang kasi kasal ka sa akin. Hindi ka bisexual o heterobeki!” – Cindy

 

Lianne: Gary, wala bang slight chance na attracted ka sa babae?

Gary: Wala. Pero gusto kong maging babae.

 

“So, ano ‘to? Tomboy na ako ngayon? Naguguluhan na ako Cindy!” – Lianne

“Gulay pa ba pinag-uusapan natin?” – Cindy

“Kasi mahal natin. Sino ba ang hindi nagpakatanga sa pag-ibig?” – Cindy

“Ovo-lacto-vegetarian po ako. At hindi ako umiinom.” – Steve (Nico Antonio)

“Titi niya nagsasalita.” – Cindy

“Hindi ko po kayo pinagsamantalahan. Para ko na ho kayong tiyahin.” – Steve to Lianne

“Ay, gago ka pala. Dapat pinagsamantalahan mo na lang kami!” – Lianne

“Relationships are like glass. It is better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” – Steve

“Pero bago bahay, maghanap ka muna ng dyowa.” – Gary to Tonette (Kim Molina)

“Sino siya? Sino dito ang bakla?” – Felix’s father (and all the people in the room raised their hands)

“Counted naman ang babaeng bakla ‘di ba?” – Tonette

“Nice? Nice??? How can you say that? Siya ang dahilan kung bakit nasisira ang pamilya natin.” – Lianne to Macey

“Hindi lahat ng gusto mo makukuha mo!” – Cindy

“It was a a love that grew over time. It was light and easy.” – Felix

“I just did not see myself growing old with you.” – Felix

“Ayaw na niya talaga sa akin, Lianne.” – Cindy

 

Cindy: Ang liit liit ng tingin ko sa sarili ko. Ang liit liit.

Lianne: Market! Market! Paulit ulit?

 

“Hindi matutuloy ang kasal na ‘yan!” – Lianne

“Gusto ko lang naman makita silang mag-suffer. The sooner the better.” – Lianne

“Magdadala tayo ng secret weapon.” – Lianne

“Baklang ‘to. Kumpetensyahin ba ako?” – Lianne

“Ano ka ba? Relax. Para lang itong Disneyland ng mga bakla. The happiest place on earth.” – Cindy

“Hindi pa ba obvious? May crush sa ‘yo si ovo-lacto-shirota strain.” – Lianne

“Remember bukas ang wedding nila. so we only have today to ruin their relationship.” – Lianne

 

Cindy: Akitin mo at dumihan mo ang pagkatao niya.

Steve: Ma’am, dumihan? Virgin pa ako. Spooning lang ang kaya ko.

Cindy: Spooning. Basta hubo’t hubad.

 

“Tawagan ko na lang kayo matapos naming mag-spooning.” – Steve

“If you live to be 100, I hope to live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live a day without you.” – Felix quoting Winnie the Pooh

“Pucha! Sinabi ng bear ‘yun?” – Steve

“Ang sarap talaga magmahal, ‘wag ka lang iwan.” – Cindy

“Hindi ako callboy, ma’am. Macho dancer po ako.” – Steve

“Lianne, the best revenge is to be happy. To live the best life you can.” – Cindy

“Winasak mo ako. For 15 years, pinaniwala mo akong mahal mo ako.” – Lianne

“Ano, masaya ka na? Ako sa isang tabi, durog na durog, mas durog pa sa pamintang bakla dahil sinira mo ang buhay ko. Hayop ka!” – Lianne

“Ganun ba talaga kapag nawala na ang love mo sa isang tao? Kung gaano mo siya ka-love ganun mo rin siya ka-hate?” – Macey

“I’m Lianne, asawa ng inaasawa ng anak mo.” – Lianne

“We have to make a decision to forgive.” – Carmi Martin

“Mahal kita. It might not be the same love for Felix, pero mahal kita. You have a special place in my heart.” – Gary

“Wala ka naman talagang dapat ikatakot, Gary. Tanggap kita. Wala rin naman akong choice eh.” – Lianne

“Dahan-dahan kong tinatanggap ang lahat. Kailangan eh. Sa paraan na ‘yun lang mapapalaya ang sarili ko.” – Cindy

“Happy na ako kay Mara at Clara.” – Lianne referring to her normal sized breasts

“I may have lost a husband, but I gained a sister in you.” – Lianne