Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago is one of the respected intellectuals in the Philippines. Aside from her fiery political views, frank-bordering-to-brutal commentaries and dedicated work as a public servant, her colorful vocabulary and sense of humor make her one of the more interesting personalities in Philippine politics.

In December 2014, she launched the book “Stupid is Forever”. According to the foreword, it is a compilation of epigrams that her supporters find funny and her enemies find revolting. It is Pinoy humor at its finest, and it does not spare anybody–from the man on the street to Senator Santiago’s colleagues.

Here are some of Senator Santiago’s views on politics and Philippine politicians (and their spouses):

1. When you watch every politician answer questions from the media, you realize that a politician approaches every subject with an open mouth.

2. I know a politician who is so windy that he can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by telephone.

3. Of the social event known as State of the Nation Address (SONA):                             Some women wear too much makeup and some women wear too little clothes.

4. Darwin’s theory of evolution suggests that first came the baboon, and then man. Politics proves that Darwin is wrong, and that first came man, and then the baboon.

5. All professionals in our country need to pass a government exam. Only a politician does not need any kind of preparation to practice.

6. I have realized why corrupt politicians do nothing to improve the quality of public school education. They are terrified of educated voters.

7. Ang sabi ng gobyerno (Government says): Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Don’t steal. Don’t sell drugs. Don’t kill. Alam ninyo ba kung bakit? Ayaw ng gobyerno ng competition (Do you know why? The government does not want competition).

8. Pulitiko ka ba? Ang ganda kasi ng mga mata mo. Corrupt nang corrupt. (Are you a politician? Because you have beautiful eyes. They keep on blinking).

9. I do not subscribe to the school of thought that I am leading the presidential polls because of my beautiful legs.

10. There’s still a double standard. The place where a woman sells herself is called a house of ill-repute or a brothel. The place where a man sells himself is called the House of Representatives.

11. Ano ang pinagkaiba ng holdaper sa pulitiko? Ang holdaper magnanakaw muna bago tatakbo. Ang pulitiko tatakbo muna bago magnanakaw. (What is the difference between a mugger and a politician? The robber steals first before he runs. The politician runs first before he steals).

12. May tatlong doktor, pinag-uusapan kung anong pasyente ang pinakamadaling operahan (Three doctors discuss which patient is the easiest to operate on). Sabi ng una (First doctor said): “Electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded!”       Sabi ng pangalawang doktor (Second doctor said): “Librarians! Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” Sabi ng pangatlo (Third doctor said): “Pulitiko ang pinakamadali! (Politicians are the easiest!) They have no brains, no guts, no hearts, and no balls.”

SPDC, thank you for giving me a copy of this book. 🙂