Not unlike the ones that precede it, Stranger Things Season 3 finale does not disappoint. It is replete with fireworks, literally and figuratively.
The ultimate episode of this season called Chapter 8: The Battle of Starcourt, and it may as well be called The Battle of Good and Evil or The Battle of Human Existence (at least in Hawkins, since the events seem local to the area).
The Battle of Starcourt starts with the collective scream of anguish of the protagonists as Jonathan Byers (Charlie Heaton) tries to take the alien body part pulsating inside Eleven’s (Millie Bobby Brown) lower left leg. As he fails to do it, El needs to do get rid of it herself, further draining whatever power she has left.
Not long after, Jim Hopper (David Harbour), Joyce Byers (Winona Ryder), and Murray Bauman (Brett Gelman) arrive in Starcourt Mall with the main agenda of rescuing the children from the Mind Flayer. With the entire good guys all in one place, they hatch a plan to send Eleven, Will Byers (Noah Schnapp) as far from Hawkins as possible to keep them out of reach of the Mind Flayer and to shut down the apparatus that tries to open the gate to another dimension.
From the top of a hill and using Cerebro, Scoops Troops Dustin Henderson (Gaten Matarazzo) and Erica Sinclair (Priah Ferguson) act as Murray’s navigators through the air ducts. In doing so, Dustin and Erica tag team to constantly remind Murray of his receding hair by calling him Bald Eagle.
In the flurry of activities, and faced with uncertain future, Hopper and Joyce have the time to do a Greyworm and Missandei. That moment of setting a date at Enzo’s locks the unhappy ending for them, especially for Hopper. If there is one thing I learned from Game of Thrones, it is to NOT make any romantic plans just before one goes on a mission fraught with danger.
With everybody busy saving the world, Billy Hargrove (Dacre Montgomery) and the Mind Flayer decide to look for Eleven. Nancy Wheeler (Natalia Dyer) looks badass with a gun and younger brother Mike Wheeler (Finn Wolfhard) demonstrates that it pays to be a nerd and that physics really works.
Despite all their efforts, the fate of the world hangs by a thread, and it takes a scientific fact to save the world from the evil Russians and the Mind Flayer. For now. Thanks to Suzie (Gabriella Pizzolo), the hotter version of Phoebe Cates, and her ability to remember Planck’s constant, stranger things will continue to occur for at least one more season. One teeny weeny note, Suzie and Dustin’s duet of Neverending Story thaws The Wall (yes, that 700-foot tall solid ice that Tyrion stood on to piss off the edge of the world) which surrounds my heart and turns it into goo. That song is a fairy throwing glitters everywhere.
After that legendary song number, that heart of mine sans The Wall breaks because of Hopper’s “disappearance”. Tears are almost shed. Almost, but not quite because I can sense I will see him again next season.
That almost turns into a certainty when Eleven reads the letter that Hopper wrote for her. Who’s cutting onions?
Here are some quotes from Stranger Things – Season 3 Chapter Eight: The Battle of Starcourt:
“I’m sorry, have my translation skills been letting you down?” - Murray Bauman (Brett Gelman)
“You know, it’s not actually that bad. There was a…The goalie on my soccer team, Beth Wildfire, this other girl slid into her leg and the whole bone came out of her knee – six inches or something, it was insane.” – Robin Buckley (Maya Hawke)
“Okay, so just to be clear, this, this big fleshy spider thing that hurt El, it’s some kind of gigantic … weapon? But instead of, like, screws and metal, the Mind Flayer made its weapon with melted people. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I’m just making sure.” – Steve Harrington (Joe Keery)
Murray: I’m sorry, why is this four year old speaking to me?
Erica: I’m ten, you bald bastard!
“Don’t worry, you can do all the fighting and the dangerous hero shit, and we’ll just be your navigators.” – Dustin Henderson (Gaten Matarazzo)
“Well, that settles it. He’s gonna die. They’re gonna die.” – Erica Sinclair (Priah Ferguson)
“Please don’t cry, nerds!” – Erica
Steve: Oh, man, now this, this is what I’m talkin’ about!
Robin: “Toddfather”?
Steve: Oh, screw Todd! Steve’s her daddy now!
Robin: Did you just talk about yourself in the third person?
Erica: Did he just call himself Daddy?
Steve: All right, where we’re going?
“Bottom lock, second-to-top lock, third-to-top lock, top lock.” – Murray
“I’m not worried about me, mom. I’m worried about you.” – Will Byers (Noah Schnapp)
“My battery’s low, but it will recharge.” – Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown)
“I can fight.” – Eleven
“This thing is after you. It’s not after me.” – Jim Hopper (David Harbour)
“Mike? Be careful.” - Jim
“Oh, God, just because it wasn’t your plan doesn’t mean it was a bad plan.” – Joyce Byers (Winona Ryder)
“What is up with you and noises?” – Hopper
“Children! Children! It is a good plan. A solid B, which is laudable, given the situation and time constraints. Dare I say, if it all goes right they’ll never even know we were here.” – Murray
Robin: Suzie must be pretty special, huh? I mean, if you built this thing and lugged it all the way to the middle of nowhere just to talk to her?
Dustin: I mean, nobody’s scientifically perfect, but Suzie’s about as close to being perfect as any human could possibly be.
Erica: She sound made-up to me. She sound made-up to you?
Dustin: Why are you hesitating, Steve?
Steve: I’m not! I’m not! I think she sounds real. You know, totally, absolutely real.
“Scoops Troop, do you copy?” – Mike Wheeler (Finn Wolfhard)
“I can do it.” – Eleven
“Bald Eagle, do you copy?” – Dustin
“I hate children.” – Murray
“Told you. Physics.” – Mike
“That thing won’t find her, not before we kill it.” – Joyce
“You know, I think, despite everything, I mean, despite the arguing, I think we make a pretty good team.” – Hopper
“I hear Enzo’s is pretty good. What do you say, Friday, eight o’ clock?” – Joyce
“When you say “date,” just so that we’re crystal clear – so there’s no confusion, Yeah?” – Hopper
“Stop talking or I’ll change my mind.” – Joyce
“Bald Eagle has landed. Repeat. Bald Eagle has landed.” – Murray
Murray. Your goddamn code is wrong!” – Hopper
“I’m not a nerd, nerd.” – Erica
“Suzie, do you copy? Suzie, do you copy? Suzie, do you copy?”” – Dustin
“Dusty-bun?” – Suzie (Gabriella Pizzolo)
Dustin: So, listen, do you know Planck’s constant?
Suzie: Do you know the Earth orbits the sun?
Dustin: Okay, so I know it starts with two sixes, and then a… What is it?
Suzie: Okay, let me just be clear on this. I haven’t heard from you in a week, and now you want a mathematical equation that you should know so you can … save the world?
Dustin: Suzie-poo, I promise, I will make it up to you as soon as possible.
Suzie: You can make it up to me now.
Dustin: What?
Suzie: I want to hear it.
Dustin: Not right now.
Suzie: Yes, now, Dusty-bun.
Dustin: Suzie-poo, this is urgent.
Suzie: Yes, yes, you’re saving the world, I heard you the first time, but Ged is also saving Earthsea and he’s about to confront the shadow, so this is Suzie, signing off.
Dustin: Wait, wait, wait! Okay. Okay. Okay. Shit!
Dusty-bun and Suzie-Poo PROCEED TO SING THE GREATEST DUET ON TV.
Suzie: Planck’s constant is 6.62607004.
Dustin: You just saved the world.
Suzie: Gosh, I miss you, Dusty-bun
Dustin: And I miss you more, Suzie-poo.
Suzie: I miss you more, multiplied by all the stars in our galaxy.
Dustin: No, I miss you…
Erica: ENOUGH.
“Ready to end this?” – Hopper
“Don’t be afraid. It’ll be over soon. Just try and stay very still.” – Billy Hargrove (Dacre Montgomery)
“Flay this, you ugly piece of shit!” – Lucas Sinclair (Caleb McLaughlin)
“I’ll see you in hell!” – Hopper
“Close it now! Close it!” – Dustin
“You put your mom down as reference?” – Robin
“You’re such a dingus!” – Robin
“Three favorite movies. Go!” – Keith
“You guys are so funny. You should be on Carson.” – Dustin
“No. No way. It’s reserved for Suzie’s ears and Suzie’s ears alone.” – Dustin
“Seventeen years of my life packed in one day.” – Jonathan Byers (Charlie Heaton)
“As a wise man once said we’ve got shared trauma.” – Jonathan
“You talked about your feelings, your heart.” – Eleven
“Mike, I love you, too.” – Eleven
The heart-to-heart speech Hopper wrote for Eleven and Mike:
There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you both about. I know this is a difficult conversation, but I care about you both very much. And I know that you care about each other very much. And that’s why it’s important that we set these boundaries moving forward, so we can build an environment where we all feel comfortable, trusted, and open to sharing our feelings.
Feelings.
Feelings.
Jesus.
The truth is, for so long, I forgot what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place, in a cave, you might say. A deep, dark cave. And then, I left some Eggos out in the woods, and you came into my life and for the first time in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. But, lately, I guess I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re, you’re pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night, making triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas at sunrise, watching Westerns together before we doze off. But I know you’re getting older. Growing. Changing, And I guess if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change. So, I think that’s why I came in here, to try to maybe … stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that’s naïve. It’s just not how life works. It’s moving. Always moving, whether you like it or not. And, yeah, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s sad. And sometimes it’s surprising. Happy. So, you know what? Keep on growing up, kid. Don’t let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from ‘em, and when life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave. But, please, if you don’t mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches.
For related entries, please read The Flayed, E Pluribus Unum, and The Bite.