The most adorable kids on TV with intellectual sharpness that will put Tyrion Lannister to shame are back in Netflix’s Stranger Things Season 2. This time, they unleash their not-so-inner geekiness with their Ghostbusters outfits, scientific and literary vocabulary, and continued unparalleled knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons. Their party of five perseveres in battling enemies from this realm (the bullies) and from another (The Upside Down).
Mike Wheeler (Finn Wolfhard) keeps on with his brooding over the disappearance of Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown). Dustin Henderson (Gaten Matarazzo) discovers the power of having pearly whites but that does not stop him from being a potty mouth. Meanwhile, Will Byers (Noah Schnapp) gets wise to the fact that being a freak is not so bad. Lucas Sinclair (Caleb McLaughlin) replaces King Steve as the ladies’ man with the appearance of Max Mayfield (Sadie Sink) despite the merciless teasing of his nosy little sister Erica (Priah Ferguson). Speaking of King Steve Harrington (Joe Keery), he becomes the unlikely babysitter of the party and the dating guru of Dustin. The Dustin-Steve bromance is the highlight of the season for me.
For related entries, please read Stranger Things Season 1 In Dustin Henderson’s Words (Mostly) and 10 Things I Love About Stranger Things.
Here are some of the memorable quotes from Stranger Things Season 2 as arranged per episode or chapter (yes, I typed them from scratch):
Chapter One: MadMax
“Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!” – Dustin Henderson (Gaten Matarazzo)
“I hate this overpriced bullshit! Son of a bitch! Piece of shit!” – Dustin
“I’m not prostituting my sister!” – Mike Wheeler (Finn Wolfhard)
“Yeah, I want a date with Bo Derek. We all want things.” – Chief Jim Hopper (David Harbour)
“Meet the human brain. I know. I know, it doesn’t look like much. A little gross even, right?” – Mr. Scott Clarke (Randy Havens)
“Yeah, screw you, too.” – Hopper
“Yeah, girls don’t play videogames.” – Will Byers (Noah Schnapp)
“stop spying on me, creeps!” – Maxine “Madmax” Mayfield (Sadie Sink)
“If you’re out there, say something. Or give me a sign. I won’t even say anything. Just wanna know if you’re okay.” – Mike
“Last time I checked our party is not a dictatorship. It’s a democracy.” – Dustin
“Being a freak is the best. I am a freak.” – Jonathan Byers (Charlie Heaton)
“And I would rather be best friends with Zombie Boy than a boring nobody.” – Jonathan
“The thing is, nobody normal ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world.” – Jonathan
“Dinner first, then dessert. Always. That’s a rule.” – Hopper
Chapter Two: Trick or Treat, Freak
“Goodbye, Mike.” – Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown)
“You want to go trick-or-treating?” – Hopper
“C-O-M-promise. Compromise?” – Hopper
“It’s something that’s kinda in-between. It is like halfway happy.” – Hopper
“God, you are such a nerd. No wonder you only hang out with boys.” – Erica Sinclair
“Who you gonna call?” – Karen Wheeler (Cara Buono)
Nice and nasty, with a chance of radioactivity. – Cowboy
“Presumptuous. That’s a good thing, right? Is it bad? Lucas, is it bad? Lucas? Son of a bitch, Lucas. Is it bad?”– Dustin
“Well, aren’t you cute? The little exterminators.” – Lady
“If I get another 3 Musketeers, I’m gonna kill myself.” – Lucas Sinclair (Caleb McLaughlin)
Seriously, I can eat a whole bowl of nougat. Straight up.” – Dustin
“Holy shit! You should have seen the look on your faces! And you? Who screams like that? You sound like a little girl.” – Max
“Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” – Hopper
“Another full-size. Like, seriously, rich people are such suckers.” – Dustin
“She’s ruining the best night of the year.” – Mike
“Sometimes I feel like I still see her. Like she’s still around, but she never is. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy.” – Mike
“Hey, well, if we’re both going crazy, then we’ll go crazy together, right?” – Mike
“Yeah. Crazy together.” – Will
“It’s day 353. I had a bad day today. I don’t know. I…I guess I wish you were here. I mean, we all do. If you’re out there, just please give me a sign.” – Mike
“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.” – Dustin
“Holy sh–.” – Dustin
Chapter Three: The Pollywog
“Oh. Oh, yeah, it was…It was, uh, tubular.” – Dustin describing Halloween or the greatest night of the year to his mom.
“Sorry, Yertle. Temporary eviction, buddy.” – Dustin to his pet turtle
“Nougat. Come on, eat.” – Dustin to his little buddy
“You’re pretty cute, you know that? I’m glad I found you.” – Dustin
“I’m gonna call you d’Artagnan.” – Dustin
“Friends don’t lie.” – Eleven
“You say “soon” on day 21. You say “soon” on day 205. You now say “soon” on day 326”? – Eleven
“When is “soon”? – Eleven
“”Soon” is when it’s not dangerous anymore.” – Hopper
“I am on a curiosity voyage, and I need my paddles to travel. These books…these books are my paddles.” – Dustin defending the 10 books he borrowed at the school library.
“Are you shitting me.” – Dustin at “five at a time” rule.
“Yes, my lord.” – Dustin
“They’re called flashlights, you dipshits.” – Hopper
“Rule number one: always keep the curtains drawn. Rule number two: only open the door if you hear my secret knock. And rule number three: don’t ever go out alone, especially not in the daylight. That’s it. Three rules. I call ‘em the, uh…Don’t Be Stupid Rules. ‘Cause we’re not stupid. Right?” – Hopper
“Ugh, he’s like a living booger.” – Lucas when he held Dart.
“When I become rich and famous for this one day, don’t come crawling back, saying, “Oh, my God, Dustin, I’m so sorry for being mean to you back in 8th grade. Oh, my God.”- Dustin.
“Do I have a mother?” – Eleven
“A bond? Just because he likes nougat?” – Mike
“Don’t hurt him! Don’t you hurt him!” – Dustin
“I’m our paladin, Will’s our cleric, Dustin’s our bard, Lucas is our ranger. And El is our mage.” – Mike
“Someone. No one.” – Mike
“Someone or no one?” – Max
“Go away! Go away!” – Will
“Easy-easy, right? Just like that.” – Bob Newby (Sean Astin)
“Easy-peasy.” – Will
Chapter Four: Will the Wise
“Okay, that totally freaked me out. Did that not freak you guys out?” – Max
“But… but I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on. So, you have to talk to me. Please. No more secrets, okay?” – Joyce Byers (Winona Ryder)
“It came for me. And I tried. I tried to make it go away. But it got me, Mom.” – Will
“I felt it everywhere. Everywhere. I – I still feel it. I just want this to be over.” – Will
“I will never, ever let anything bad happen to you ever again. Whatever’s going on in you, we’re gonna fix it. I will fix it. I promise. I’m here.” – Joyce
“”Friends don’t lie.” Isn’t that your bullshit saying?” – Hopper
“You promised…I go! And I never leave! Nothing ever happens!” – Eleven
“Yeah! Nothing happens and you stay safe!” – Hopper
“You lie!” – Eleven
“I don’t lie! I protect and I feed and I teach! And all I ask of you is that you follow three simple rules. Three rules. And you know what? You can’t even do that!” – Hopper
“You’re grounded. You know what that means? It means no Eggos and no TV for a week.” – Hopper
“You have got to understand that there are consequences to your actions.” – Hopper
“You wanna go out in the world? You better grow up! Grow the hell up!” – Hopper
“When we encounter danger, our heart starts pounding. Our palms start to sweat. These are the signs of the physical and emotional state we call fear.” – Mr. Clarke
“No. He likes it cold.” – Will
“I overslept. What the hell is going on? It’s freezing!” – Hopper
“I don’t need to think. I just know things now. Things I never did before.” – Will
“It’s hard to explain. It’s like old memories, in the back of my head, only… they’re not my memories. I mean, I don’t think they’re old memories at all. They’re, they’re now-memories, happening all at once, now.” – Will
“it’s like they’re growing and spreading… killing.” – Will
“Not very pleasant in here, is it? Sorry about that. Hospitality’s not our strong suit. You know, scientists and all.” – Dr. Sam Owens (Paul Reiser)
““Men of science have made abundant mistakes of every kind.” George Sarton said that. You guys know who George Sarton is? Doesn’t really matter. The point is, mistakes have been made. Yes.” – Dr. Owens.
“Mistakes? You killed Barbara.” – Nancy Wheeler (Natalia Dyer)
“Yes. Abundant mistakes, but, the men involved with those mistakes, the ones responsible for what happened to your brother and Miss Holland’s death, they’re gone. They’re gone, and for better for worse, I’m the schmuck they brought in to make things better. But I can’t make things better without your help.” – Dr. Owens
“She’s tough, this one. You guys been together long?” – Dr. Owens
“I’d call it one hell of a mistake, wouldn’t you? See, the thing is, we can’t seem to erase out mistake, but we can stop it from spreading. Like, it’s like pulling weeds. But imagine for a moment, if a foreign state, let’s say, the Soviets, if they heard about our mistake, do you think they would even consider that a mistake? What if they tried to replicate that?” – Dr. Owens
“He’s drawing vines.” – Hopper
“I don’t wanna be in your stupid party, anyway. I’m out. Have a nice life.” – Max
“Because Max, you’re a piece of shit, but we’re family now whether we like it or not, meaning I’m stuck looking out for you.” – Billy Hargrove (Dacre Montgomery)
“Let’s burn that lab to the ground.” – Nancy
“Oh, Jesus!” – Hopper
Chapter Five: Dig Dug
“It’s like, it’s like I feel what the shadow monster’s feeling. See what he’s seeing. Some of him is there (Upside Down), but some of him is here, too. In this house and in me.” – Will
“Now I remember. I remember all the time.” – Will
“You’re like a spy now. A superspy. Spying on the shadow monster. If you know what he’s seeing and feeling, maybe that’s how we can stop him. Maybe all of this is happening for a reason.” – Mike
“Don’t you think it’s weird? How we only seem to hang out when the world’s about to end?” – Nancy
“After everything, you just… disappeared.” – Nancy
“Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.” – Dustin
“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.” – Dustin
“Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.” – Dustin
“I’m sorry. You ate my cat.” – Dustin
“I want to see Mama.” – Eleven
“Mama. It’s me, Jane. I’m here now.” – Eleven
“Hey, watch the attitude, shitbird!” – Billy
Max: What is this shit, stalker?
Lucas: Sorry. I just needed a safe place.
Max: A safe place to what? Be creepy?
“Do you accept the risk?” – Lucas
“Yeah. Sure. Fine. I accept the risk.” – Max
Joyce: Okay, so … so Hopper is here?
Mike: Yeah. Now we just need to find out where here is, right?
Mike: Did he say anything? I mean, before he left?
Joyce: Uh, some … something about vines?
“When I was sick as a kid, and I was sick all the time as a kid, nothing made me feel better than focusing on these brain teasers.” – Bob
“Huh. Hmm. You drew all these yourself? Why, exactly?” – Bob the Brain
“That’s the objective. Find the X.” – Mike
“Yeah? What’s at the X? Pirate treasure?” – Bob
“Your line has been busy for two hours, Mr. Wheeler. Do you realize this?” – Dustin
“Son of a bitch. You’re really no help at all, you know that?” – Dustin
“We have bigger problems than your lovelife.” – Dustin to Steve
“We have a lot of rules in our party, but the most important is, “Friends don’t lie.” Never ever. No matter what.” – Lucas
Nancy: What are you doing?
Murray Bauman (Brett Gelman): Thinking.
Nancy: With vodka?
Murray: It’s a central nervous system depressant. So yes, with vodka.
Nancy: Music? Really?
Murray: Yes. It helps me…
Jonathan: What? Think?
Chapter Six: The Spy
Steve: How do you know it’s not a lizard?!
Dustin: Because his face opened up and he ate my cat.
“All right, listen, kid, I swear, if this is some sort of Halloween prank, you’re dead.” – Steve
“I’ll stay up here in case he tries to escape.” – Dustin
“Can a single person in this room tell me what is wrong with my boy? What is wrong with my boy!” – Joyce
“You’ve told me a lot of shockers today, but that, that is the first lie.” – Murray
“You’re young, attractive. You’ve got chemistry, history, plus the real shit, shared trauma.” – Murray
“Trust issues, right? Something to do with your dad.” – Murray
Murray: Hmm. It is a curse to see so clearly. You (Nancy), you’re harder to read. Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for who you really are and retreated back to the safety of…Name? Name?
Murray: Oh. Steve. We like Steve.
Murray: But we don’t love Steve.
Nancy: What? No, we … I mean, I do.
Murray: There it is, ladies and germs, the second lie of the evening. So? How I’d do? My goodness. You two are adorable, aren’t you?
Murray: Listen, there’s a pull-out bed in my study, but if I were you. I’d cut the bullshit and share the damn bed.
“Code red, Lucas. Code red. Bunch of nerds.” – Erica
“Man, I always thought stuff like this happened in movies and comic books. Certainly not in Hawkins, certainly not to someone like you.” – Bob
“Bob Newby, superhero.” – Bob
Murray: So, Jonathan, how was the pull-out?
Jonathan: Uh, sorry?
Murray: The sofa.
Jonathan: Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was good.
Murray: I bet.
“This better be good, stalker.” – Max
“Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair.” – Dustin
“It is not about the hair, man. They key with girls is just acting like you don’t care.” – Steve Harrington (Joe Keery)
“She’s only gonna break your heart, and you’re way too young for that shit.” – Steve
“Fabergé. It’s Fabergé Organics.” – Steve referring to why he has perfect hair.
“Yeah, Farrah Fawcett Spray. You tell anyone I just told you that and your ass is grass.” – Steve
“Hey, it’s, uh…It’s me. I know that I’ve been gone too long, and, uh… It’s – I just, I want you know that it’s not about you and it’s not about our fight. Okay? Something came up, and I will…I will explain it all when I see you. I just… I want you to know that I’m not mad. I’m just sorry. About everything. I… I don’t want you to gey hurt at all. And I don’t wanna lose you.” – Hopper
“Just make sure you heat up some real food. Not just Eggos. And I want you to eat all the peas, even if they’re mushy and gross. And I will be home.” – Hopper
“Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. Three to the right. Four to the left. Four-fifty.” – Terry Ives (Aimee Mullins)
Chapter Seven: The Lost Sister
“Mama? It’s me. Jane. I’m home.” – Eleven
“Mouth breather.” – Eleven
Eight/Kali (Linnea Berthelsen): Sister.
“This butterfly, it isn’t real. I’ve just convinced your mind it is. Think of it as a kind of magic.” – Kali
“Nothing is wrong. I just feel… whole…now. Like…a piece of me was missing, and now it’s not.” – Kali
“You telling me Shirley’s a human radar detector or some shit?” – Axel
“You hurt Mama.” – Eleven
“If you wanted to show mercy, it’s your choice. But don’t ever take away mine. Ever. Do you understand? Do you understand?”- Kali
“I was once just like you, you know that? But that’s why I’m hard on you, because I see in you my past mistakes.” – Kali
“Papa is dead.” – Eleven
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but I have to go back. My friends… my friends are in danger.” – Eleven
Kali: They can’t save you.
Eleven: But I can save them.
“I’m going to my friends. I’m going home.
Chapter Eight: The Mind Flayer
“Mother of God.” – Dr. Owens
It’s…it’s polycarbonate. It can’t get through.” – Dr. Owens
“Mother Mary and Joseph.” – Scientist
“Oh, my God!” – Bob
Lucas: You’re positive that was Dart?
Dustin: Yes. He had the same exact yellow pattern on his butt.
Max: He was tiny two days ago.
Dustin: Well, he’s molted three times already.
Dustin: Molted. Shed his skin to make room for growth like hornworms.
“He missed me. He wanted to come home.” – Dustin
“I didn’t know he was a Demogorgon, okay?” – Dustin
“Your stupid pet could eat us for dinner.” – Lucas
“No, no, no. Hey, guys, why are you headed towards the sound? Hello? Hello? Shit!” – Max
“Okay, I got this. I got this.” – Bob
“It’s gonna be okay. Remember, Bob Newby, superhero.” – Bob
“Point and squeeze. Okay. Easy-peasy.” – Bob
“Son of a bitch did it.” – Hopper
“Jesus Christ.” – Dr. Owens
“We can’t let him (Bob) die in vain.” – Mike
“Demogorgon dogs. Demo-dogs. It’s like a compound. It’s like a play on words – you know?” – Dustin
Steve: A hive mind?
Dustin: A collective consciousness. It’s a super-organism.
“What?” – Steve and Max upon hearing “the mind flayer”.
Dustin: The mind flayer. It’s a monster from an unknown dimension. It’s so ancient that it doesn’t even know its true home. Okay, it enslaves races of other dimensions by taking over their brains using its highly-developed psionic powers.
Hopper: Oh, my God, none of this is real. This is a kids’ game.
Dustin: No, it’s a manual. And it’s not for kids. And unless you know something that we don’t, this is the best metaphor–.
Dustin: Analogy? That’s what you’re worried about? Fine. An analogy for understanding whatever the hell this is.
Nancy: Okay, so this mind flamer thing—
Dustin: Flayer. Mind flayer.
Nancy: What does it want?
Dustin: To conquer us, basically. It believes it’s the master race.
Steve: Like the Germans?
Dustin: Uh, the Nazis?
Steve: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Dustin: If the Nazis were from another dimension, totally. Uh, it views other races, like us, as inferior to itself.
Mike: It wants to spread, and take over other dimensions.
Lucas: We are talking about the destruction of our world as we know it.
Steve: That’s great. That’s great. That’s really great. Jesus!
“Those little shits are real trouble, you know?” – Steve
Chapter Nine: The Gate
Mike: I never gave up on you. I called you every night. Every night for–.
Eleven: 353 days. I heard.
“I’m not asking you to thank me. I’m asking you to try to understand.” – Hopper
“You’re stupid, disgusting, piece of shit!” – Mike
“Teeth. You have teeth.” – Eleven
“Oh. You like these pearls? Prrrrrrr.” – Dustin
“I’m maybe a pretty shitty boyfriend, but turns out I’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter.” – Steve
Mike: Just be careful. I can’t lose you again.
Eleven: You won’t lose me.
Mike: Just promise.
Steve: I promised to keep you shitheads safe, and that’s what exactly we’re doing. We’re staying here. On the bench. And we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. Does everybody understand that?” – Steve
“This isn’t a stupid sports game.” – Mike
Billy: Am I dreaming, or is that you Harrington?
Steve: Yes, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.
“Man, were you dropped too much as a child?” – Steve
“Yes! Kick his ass, Steve!” – Dustin
“This thing has had Will long enough. Let’s kill the son of a bitch!” – Joyce
“He kicked your ass, but you put up a good fight.” – Dustin
“Oh, my God! No! Whoa! Stop the car. Slow down.” – Steve
“I told you. Zoomer.” – Max
“You’re pretty sure, or you’re certain?” – Dustin
“Any of you little shits die down here, I’m getting the blame. Got it, dipshit? From here on out, I’m leading the way. Come on, let’s go.” – Steve
“It’s in my mouth. Some got in my mouth! Shit!” – Dustin
“All right, Wheeler. I think we found your hub.” – Steve
“Let’s drench it.” – Mike
“I’m in such deep shit.” – Steve
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about the storm cellar. That was a pretty douche thing to do.” – Dustin
“Is there a bird nesting in there?” – Lucas
“Are you trying to ask me to dance, stalker?” – Max
“Girls this age are dumb. But give it a few years, they’ll wise up. And, uh, you’re gonna drive them nuts.” – Nancy