Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago’s “Stupid is Forever” has sold over 100,000 copies just three months after its launch. According to the back cover of the book, it is “a collection of jokes, one-liners, pick-up lines, comebacks and speeches delivered and/or curated by the beloved Senator”. As I mentioned in my previous entry, it shows Pinoy humor at its finest, like our ability to laugh at ourselves, smile at the camera even if we are knee deep in murky water and make jokes and jingles about the latest controversial figures while eating tuyo (dried herring) with our bare hands.
Here are some of the nonpolitical jokes and hirit lines from the book:
1. Student: Ma’am, kumusta po ang grade ko? Professor: Aba, iha, kasingganda ng buhok mo! Parang bagong rebond. Bagsak na bagsak!
2. Wrong Word Usages: Laity – hometown ni Imelda Marcos ang laity. Mention – Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang mention. Punctuation – Sabi ng isang bata, “Daddy, pasukan na next week. Kailangan ko po ng punctuation. Tenacious – Before playing tennis I have to put on my tenacious. Curtain and Kitchen – Aray! Huwag mo akong curtain. Masa-kitchen.
3. Miss, kutsara ka ba? Kasi papalapit ka pa lang, napapanganga na ako.
4. Ang lampa mo naman! Tatawid ka lang sa isip ko, nahulog ka pa sa puso ko.
5. Puwede ba kitang sabayan pauwi? Kasi sabi ng magulang ko, “Follow your dreams.”
6. Ang love ay parang bayad sa jeep. Minsan hindi nasusuklian.
7. Wife: My husband and I have what he calls Olympic sex. Friend: Wow, you must be having terrific sex life! Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
8. Yes, I am intellectually arrogant. All intellectuals are entitled to be arrogant. That’s the only way they can educate the non-intellectual. Inggit lang sila.
9. Five tips for a happy man’s life: Have a girl to help you at work. Have a girl to take care of you and love you. Have a girl who can make you laugh. Have a girl who spoils you. Lastly, and most importantly, siguraduhin na hindi magkakakilala ang apat na babaeng iyon (make sure that those four women do not know each other).
10. Men are like horoscopes, they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
11. Kung asukal ka, ako naman ay sago. Walang akong kuwenta kung wala ang tamis mo.
12. A smart wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can’t afford another woman.
SPDC, thank you for giving me a copy of this book. 🙂